With The Expendables II now on worldwide release everywhere, we thought it would be a good time to turn our 'Recasting' features attention to the original movie and see what we could do there. Now we thought we'd add a twist and make it a all female version which we have dubbed "The Expendabelles" (See what we did there?!). Now it seems that this idea is already gathering some steam and there may actually be something along these lines in the mix coming along, so we thought we'd a) Get in there first and b) Help out the producers if the project gets off the ground. So without further ado lets do some recasting!
Right, lets get down to business by casting the bad girls of the piece and then working through the rest of The Expendabelles. We have decided to do The Expendables main team, Church & Trench and Munroe & Dan Paine from the first film. We have changed the names where possible to reflect the ladies in the roles in their own right.
Names that were considered but ultimately we haven't used are Angelina Jolie, Michelle Yeoh & Jessica Biel. Mainly because they were too obvious, but also because we needed to save some names for the sequel. So let's start with Munroe and Dan Paine.
James Munroe (Eric Roberts) - Jamie Munroe (Glenn Close)
The Ex-CIA officer who in the Expendables is played by Eric Roberts, required some form of gravitas without being too obvious. Glenn Close proved her vicious and cunning streak in films such as Fatal Attraction, Dangerous Liaisons & 101 Dalmatians. Certainly not a woman to be trifled with, she would certainly be a worthy adversary for any of the Expendabelles.
Dan Paine ("Stone Cold" Steve Austin) - Dani Payne (Axelle Carolyn)
Axelle may not be widely known outside of horror movie circles, but let it be known that Mrs. Neil Marshall is not to be taken lightly. This actress, author, screen-writer and now filmaker in her own right has exactly what a right hand woman needs. Appearing in Centurion, she played the beserker Aereon and in Doomsday a similar role as 'Podium Marauder' has that raw agression that is going to cause our heroines some serious trouble.
Next up, we need to cast the two fleeting cameo roles from the first film played by Schwarzenegger & Bruce Willis, Trent and Church.
Church (Bruce Willis) - Church (Uma Thurman)
Two words. Kill Bill. What more do you need to ask, Uma is a simple pick for the role of Church. Again has displayed an evil streak (No we are not talking about Batman & Robin's Poison Ivy), in My Super Ex Girlfriend, Pulp Fiction & Percy Jackson. Needs to be able to potray ambigious, that she can achieve. So the role of Church goes to her.
Trench (Arnold Schwarzengger) - Trench (Cynthia Rothrock)
When you think of female action legends, they don't come any better than Cynthia Rothrock. A Five time world Karate champion, she appeared in many martial arts movies in the 80s & 90s. The object of many young boys desire back then, she could certainly kick ass & take names. Probably most notable for China O'Brien (I & II), Martial Law (I & II) & No Retreat, No Surrender II, she fits the bill perfectly as Barney's rival.
Finally, let's get to the Expendabelles team themselves. We include Tool who was played by Mickey Rourke as well as the combat team themselves. In fact let's take a look at Tool first.
Tool (Mickey Rourke) - Tool (Sigourney Weaver)
Many of you probably would have thought that Ms. Weaver would have been reserved for the role as Barney. But we have decided to cast her in the role of Barney's mentor and mission co-ordinator Tool. Of course we don't think we have to explain Sigourney's action CV, but in case you missed the memo, she of course appeared as Ellen Ripley in the Alien series. But that's not her only action credential, she has also appeared in Ghostbusters, Avatar & Galaxy Quest expanding on her action credentials. So, Sigourney Weaver is Tool.
Yin Yang (Jet Li) - Yin Yang (Jeeja Yanin)
For those of you expecting Michelle Yeoh to get this role, sorry, but that was too easy. The star of the under rated martial arts movie Chocolate, Jeeja Yanin has been dubbed the female Tony Jaa (Of the Ong Bak series in case you haven't been keeping up). She has the fighting ability to rival probably Jet Li himself, or would at least give him a run for his money anyway. It's worth checking out Chocolate soon and see what you have been missing. With Chocalte 2 on the way in 2012, there has never been a better excuse to catch up.
Toll Road (Randy Couture) - Toni Road (Elisabeth Shue)
Granted Elisabeth Shue doesn't come with a background in MMA, but she certainly deserves her berth in the Expendabelles line up. For starters she played Chris Parker, a babysitter in the 1987 film Adventures in Babysitting a.k.a. Night On The Town, and if you've seen that, then you would know not to f**k with the Babysitter! But that's not all, she appeared in The Karate Kid, Piranha 3D, Hollow Man as various versions of action women, plus she played the tough as nails, but emotionally damaged hooker in Leaving Las Vegas (Which she should have won the best actress Oscar for) so, she also gets the nod.
Hail Ceaser (Terry Crews) - Haley Ceaser (Milla Jovovich)
Another famous lady of action due to the Resident Evil series of movies where she plays the heroine Alice. Also appeared recently in the awful Three Musketeers remake as Milady de Winter, but despite being a terrible film, she carried off the action sequences. So Milla joins The Expendabelles team as Haley Ceaser.
Gunnar Jensen (Dolph Lungdren) - Gunnef Jensen (Noomi Rapace)
Needed a hard as nails Swedish actress who needs to be a little unhinged? Well, this was the easiest pick of them all, step forward Noomi Rapace, star of the Girl Who series and most recently Prometheus. Also, an interesting side note, when were looking to alter the name to give it a female feel we discovered that Gunnef is Swedish for Battle Maid. So, there you go. It's all coming together nicely.
Lee Christmas (Jason Statham) - Leigh Christmas (Gina Carano)
Lee Christmas is Barney's best friend and also a martial arts expert. So, when deciding on who would take on the role, we needed someone who is double tough and have a martaila arts background. So Gina Carano fits perfectly into the role. A Muay Thai practitioner and former MMA Champion, she actually could be the female Jason Statham. With Haywire under her belt, where she dispatched her male counterparts with relative ease, she makes for interesting casting for the role of Lee/Leigh.
Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) - Bernadette Ross (Linda Hamilton)
Barney, the leader of the team and former Rambo. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you the female version of Rambo and mother of John Connor, future leader of the resistance in the war against the machines, Sarah Connor herself Linda Hamilton. Star of Terminator I & II (Aside from Arnie!) She has exactly the right combination to be the leader of this team of mercenaries? With brains, a fearless approach and a never say die attitude, you have to pity anyone who dares take them on.
So there you have it folks, let us know what you think of our choices either by comment or on the Screen One forum. It's always great to get feedback good or bad (Although mainly good). Also, if you have any ideas of films you'd like to see us recast let us know.